Family and Friends: Support or Sabotage? (Part Two)

Last month, I presented the idea that often times your weight loss threatens those closest to you in interesting ways.  Some of your family and friends will be very supportive of your efforts and help you in whatever way you need.

There can be others who find your weight loss threatening.  If they are also heavy, they can be jealous of your success and subconsciously want you to fail so they don't feel like they have to lose weight too.  Or perhaps, your weight loss changes the way you relate to each other.  If your relationship is centered on eating and now you aren't eating in that same way, the relationship needs to find a different way to "be".

And now, we come to the holiday season.  This time of year we get together with friends and family to celebrate.  Traditionally, that celebration centers on eating and drinking.  If we've always equated the holidays with excessive indulgence, we now must find other ways to celebrate and be with our loved ones.

The internet has thousands of sites with recipes that have been lightened for us to enjoy without guilt; so, I'm not going to present you with more of those.  I'd prefer to work on the emotional and behavioral aspects of dealing with the holidays--like understanding that you don't have to over indulge  to enjoy yourself during the holidays.  You can eat small portions of healthy food and sip a glass of sparkling water while simply enjoying the people you love.

Staying very "present" and aware of all that is going on around you allows you to control your reactions to triggers that might otherwise get you to abandon your new habits.

For example, if your mother has a habit of forcing food on you in order to make herself feel important and needed, you can simply be aware of what she's doing (and why) when it happens.  Instead of re-acting like you always do (either going along with her or getting angry at her), you can take a deep breath and smile.  That will stop your automatic reaction to her; then, you can decide on the most appropriate action to take.  You might let her know that you appreciate her concern about your welfare.  Explain that you're working with your doctor, and the plan you're on doesn't allow that particular food.

If you say it in a loving tone, it let's the other person know that you understand their concern for you.  But, it also shows your commitment to your new lifestyle.

This holiday, stay aware of what is going on around you.  Be aware of what behaviors and words trigger a negative response inside you.  Watch your reactions with intense interest.  Instead of re-acting automatically, stop, take a few deep breaths, smile, and take the time to decide the best course of action.  Also, it will allow you to understand what is really happening in that situation.

Hope you have a lovely holiday season!